Vacation planning or negotiation olympics?
Have you ever tried to plan a family vacation where everyone gets exactly what they want? Spoiler alert: It’s impossible. One kid wants theme parks, another wants to relax on a beach, and meanwhile, you’re just trying to find the phone charger that mysteriously disappeared (again) while sorting out travel logistics.
Most of the time, vacation planning falls entirely on parents, and let’s be honest—it’s a lot of work. That’s why so many families default to the same old trips, picking a familiar destination or taking recommendations from friends. But what if you handed over some of the planning to your kids?
I know what you’re thinking: That sounds like asking for disaster. But hear me out—giving your tweens and teens responsibility for part of the trip isn’t just a way to keep them engaged (and reduce complaints). It’s also an incredible growth mindset activity that helps them develop confidence, budgeting skills, problem-solving abilities, and independence. Plus, they might finally understand just how much effort goes into planning a trip that doesn’t end in a meltdown at the airport.
Here’s how involving your teens and tweens in vacation planning can boost their confidence—and how to make it fun, meaningful, and as stress-free as possible.
Why involve your teens and tweens in vacation planning?
Letting your kids take part in trip planning isn’t just about keeping them busy—it’s about teaching them real-world skills they’ll carry into adulthood. Here’s why it’s a smart parenting move:
1. Builds confidence and independence
When kids research destinations, plan activities, or contribute ideas, they start to see their input as valuable. The more responsibility they take on, the more their decision-making skills and confidence grow.
2. Develops real-life skills
Planning a vacation isn’t just about picking a fun spot—it’s about working within a budget, comparing options, prioritizing experiences, and making decisions. These are life skills they’ll need in the real world.
3. Fosters family bonding
When the whole family works together to create a vacation plan, it shifts the mindset from “Mom and Dad plan, and we follow” to “We built this trip together.” That sense of teamwork makes the experience more meaningful.
4. Teaches problem-solving and adaptability
Flights get delayed. Activities get canceled. Hotels get overbooked. Instead of handling all the last-minute chaos yourself, involve your kids in finding solutions—it’s a great problem-solving exercise.
5. Makes them more invested in the trip
Let’s be honest: Kids complain less when they help make the plans. If they had a say in the itinerary, they’re way less likely to moan about sightseeing or early wake-ups—because they helped create the schedule.
How to get your teens and tweens involved in vacation planning
1. Host a Fun Family Vacation Meeting
Kick off the process by making trip planning a team effort rather than a last-minute parental scramble.
Set the vision: Start with general ideas—“We’re thinking of a city or beach trip. What do you think?”
Let them pitch ideas: Have each family member suggest destinations or activities.
Assign Research Roles: Let kids find options for accommodations, restaurants, and activities.
Encourage Presentations: Kids can pitch their ideas in a fun way—a slideshow, Pinterest board, or even a dramatic speech (bonus points for enthusiasm).
Why this works:
- Builds research & presentation skills
- Encourages negotiation & compromise
- Turns planning into a fun challenge instead of a chore
2. Teach problem-solving with criteria-based challenges
Instead of letting kids suggest random ideas, give them clear decision-making criteria to make it a problem-solving game:
Budget constraints: “Find hotels under $150 per night.”
Travel time limits: “Destinations must be within a three-hour flight.”
Logistical requirements: “Our hotel must be close to public transport or restaurants.”
Then, let them research and present their best options. If their first choice doesn’t fit, encourage them to adjust their plan rather than give up—a great growth mindset activity!
3. Encourage negotiation & compromise
Vacations mean different people want different things—so use it as a negotiation exercise for your kids:
Hold a family vote: Each person pitches an idea, then the family votes on what makes the final cut.
The compromise challenge: If one kid wants a historical tour and the other just wants to chill by the pool, ask them to find a way to include both.
Let siblings swap choices: If one gets to pick the first activity, the other gets to choose dinner.
Why this works:
- Teaches collaboration & decision-making
- Shows them that compromise is a life skill
- Makes the trip feel fair & balanced
4. Give them budgeting responsibilities
Want to teach financial literacy? Give older kids a real travel budget and let them manage part of the trip.
Example: “Here’s $200 for one full day—plan meals, transport, and activities.”
esson: They’ll quickly learn that splurging on one thing means sacrificing another (goodbye, overpriced tourist souvenirs!).
5. Make it fun with creative challenges
Keep the planning light and exciting with these fun activities:
Spin the globe (pin the map): Have them randomly pick a place and research if it’s a good fit.
Vision board: Let them create a Pinterest or magazine cutout collage of their dream trip.
Local culture challenge: They have to learn & teach the family a few key phrases, a local dish, or a fun fact about the destination.
How vacation planning teaches growth mindset
The process of planning a trip itself reinforces growth mindset principles:
Challenges become opportunities – They learn to adjust ideas to meet real-world constraints.
Effort leads to success – Seeing their plans come to life is a powerful motivator!
Setbacks are learning moments – If their first idea doesn’t work, they pivot and try again.
By giving them a role in planning, you’re instilling problem-solving skills, adaptability, and resilience—key growth mindset activities that will serve them well in life.
Conclusion: Empower your kids by giving them a voice
Letting your kids take charge of vacation planning isn’t just about lightening your mental load (though let’s be real, that’s a great perk). It’s about giving them real-world responsibility, boosting their confidence, and making the trip more meaningful.
Who knows? Maybe next time, they’ll be the ones booking flights and handling the itinerary—and you’ll finally get that stress-free vacation you’ve always dreamed of. (A parent can hope, right?)
How much say do you let your kids have in vacation planning? Do you think it helps build life skills? Let me know in the comments!
One Response
Fantastic article with some great tips. I would usually book the accommodation & collectively then we choose the activities however after reading this now, next time I might even get them to select accommodation based on budget. There’s always room for more responsibility 😊 Thanks so much for the tip 👌