Can Your Child Resist the Treat?

Can your child resist the snack before dinner to wait for the dessert after dinner? Whether they can or not, according to scientific studies, is an indication of their potential academic success and indeed their life outcomes in general. You may already be familiar with the Stanford Marshmallow Study by Walter Mischel in the 1970s. It’s a fun experiment that I used in my book ‘Hey Smart Girl – Book of Biology’ to help explain the scientific method. Basically scientists put children, around the ages of four and five, sitting in front of a marshmallow and tell them that if they can resist this one marshmallow for fifteen minutes, afterwards they will be rewarded with two. There are some really cute videos online of how some of the participants handle this conundrum. However the study itself has given some incredible insights into how a child’s level of self control can determine their future prospects.

By including the study in my science book for girls, not only does it give the young reader a relatable and fun example for learning the scientific method: hypothesis, observation, testing etc. but also introduces the concept of delayed gratification to them and illustrates the importance of this trait. Now I want to highlight its significance to you, the parents or teachers, to help you foster this skill in your child and help them become more resilient and focused on long term goals.

The Stanford Marshmallow Study: A Window into Self-Control

The Marshmallow Experiment is the original study that looks at the relationship between self control and ‘success’ in life. This surprisingly simple test, putting a treat in front of a child and seeing if they’ll eat it straight away, proved a compelling theory. Michel and his team determined that those that waited the required fifteen minutes to receive the bigger treat tended to do better in school exams and have better academic results in general. The follow up study years later even found that those that could delay their gratification at the age of five, had better relationships, were more secure financially and even healthier BMI scores than those that couldn’t. Fasinatinatinly, The experiment showed a correlation between the length of time the child waited, even if they didn’t make it the entire fifteen minutes, and their academic success. The more seconds a child waited the higher their SAT scores.

Why Delayed Gratification Matters for Life Success

More recents studies like the one by University of Pennsylvania in 2019, Self-Control and Academic Achievement, reiterated the point made by Mischel but went one step further and stated that self control is more indicative of success than IQ. While of course intelligence is important, self control allows students to persevere through challenges and distractions. While the Dunedin Study which tracked over 1,000 children in New Zealand and found that self-control in childhood predicted better health, financial success, and fewer criminal convictions later in life. So science tells us that if your goal to raise strong resilient adult or future leaders with resilience, focus and the ability to think long term then you need to start influencing their ability to regulate themselves.

Building Self-Control in Young Girls

Here are some tips to help your child exercise their self control.

• Introduce activities that help them work towards a goal at the compromise of an immediate want or desire. Like saving up for a big toy, or encouraging them to put in the study time now for a trip or reward after the exams.
• Cultivate a growth mindset, let them understand and appreciate their ability to continually learn and grow. One way of doing this can be the language that we as parents use. By celebrating effort over results and teaching perseverance.
• Work together on a project like gardening or a large puzzle or model, in which the results take time and patience. Acknowledge the sense of achievement as you start to see progress.

The Science of Self-Control

The prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that is responsible for self-control and decision-making is still developing in childhood. In fact it is one of the last parts to mature fully and is said not to be fully matured until our early twenties. This explains why the young children struggle not to eat the marshmallow but also highlights the importance of our role of helping our pre teens, teens and even young adults make better decisions. Self control habits and exercises like the ones mentioned above helps strengthen the prefrontal cortex. By encourage your child to take part in such activities you are helping them regulate their emotions and focus on long-term goals as they grow.

Conclusion: It’s a Skill That Can and should Be Cultivated

The marshmallow experiment taught us that yes if  your child does not reach for the treat instantly they have a strong chance of happiness in life. Of course we all want our children to be happy to help them avoid any diversity as a result of poor decision making or lack of focus. But the key takeaway here is that we should understand that they are still developing this skill and that we can help them with some simple consistent steps. So don’t write your child off if you find them with their hands in the cookie jar before dinner. It does not mean that they are destined to fail but you can encourage them to exercise the self control that they will need to navigate through life.

Science as a Tool for Building Patience and Perseverance

Science is a great hobby for your child to get into, not only are science experiments fun and educational but also science teaches us that failure is necessary, therefore patience and perseverance is required. Science is a great way of developing these skills. If your child is interested in science or if you’d like to introduce them to science as a hobby, check out my book series ‘Hey Smart Girl’. The books are packed with fun activities and teach real science in an active, fun and engaging way.

Opinion? 

What do you think is self control, something we just develop naturally. I’m always interested in hearing other points of view, leave a comment below.